Thursday, 30 January 2014

~~~~~ * "Navarro's Poison & Passion" ~ "Poison" ~ "GUILTY CONSCIENCE" * ~~~~~

Guilty Conscience. It's rare that people pay attention to their conscience. Especially, when it comes down to simply thinking about what they have done wrong to someone. This could be a girlfriend or boyfriend cheating on their significant other, a girlfriend or boyfriend abandoning their significant other when they need you the most, or being physically, mentally, emotionally abusive towards their loved one. This of course goes the same way for married couples, common-in-law couples and not to mention with family, friends & co-workers.
The self admittance of feeling guilty towards the wrong doing of another person is rarely ever fixed between those individuals. That's where Karma comes into play. That is another story for another time. From experience, the wrong doer is guilty and reacts in any other way but to simply say "I am sorry, I fucked up, please forgive me".
Peoples egos play a factor in not allowing themselves to do the easy thing by simply apologizing and making things right. I personally, have experienced this from the end of both girlfriend relationships, friends and from family. It's not pretty folks. To this day, a lot of unresolved issues that I have with people have been left up in the air with me waiting for these pieces to come down to even pick up so that I can finally move forward. Saying "Sorry" is death to people's egos because it humanizes them, humbles them and they feel it puts a blemish on their conscience. "Oh god, now I have a negative on my so perfect (false) existence as a human being!".
No one ever wants to be wrong. No one ever wants to say sorry. I have experienced family my entire existence acting as if their shit doesn't stink. Fucked up behaviour and ignorance is bliss to them. Calling someone out on their mistakes is considered taboo. Your pushed further away instead of it being their wake up call. This is painful for someone like me. I have been hurt more times than I care to think about as it brings those negative feelings I have towards family. I have always tried to be the bigger man. Putting things aside and trying to talk to those individuals or let them hear a voice that they never wanted to listen to. In my "family" there is no accountability for all the wrong doing towards me. None at all. I have been hurt deeply my entire life by "family". It still goes on today. But, there is something lurking in those minds and lack of hearts from my "family": A GUILTY CONSCIENCE.
I have been in relationships with girlfriends, one in particular before I found my true love that felt that everything was more important than I. Herself, her family, friends, religion and even distant friends. I remained supportive. I remained faithful. I remained loyal. I remained a trust worthy boyfriend. But, eventually, I realized that I was being treated like sixth rate trash.
I tried to move into a positive light where I was thinking about starting my own business and even dealing with deep personal issues that god forbid meant that the spotlight of our "relationship" was to be forced on me, thus taking away the attention off of her and her more important than I priorities. It was met with drama, stress, emotional abuse, abandonment and heartbreak for me.
I fought my way through it, but realized that years now after the fact, that no matter what, Karma will get that person if it hasn't already happened. But, Karma gets you when you ignore your conscience. It gets you when you deny that you are not guilty of hurting someone. It gets you. It does. One thing that ex-girlfriend will understand, is that you can't run from your mistakes forever. It will catch up to you. Your reactions to your wrong doing towards me is called: A GUILTY CONSCIENCE.
Friends. I have had one in particular that once told me that he repented for the wrong doing he caused me. Then less than a year or so later, it started again and now that jerk off doesn't play a part in my life anymore period. I have had similar friends that have done wrong to me. Disrespectful comments, ignorant statements, turn their backs on me when I needed help. All things, that I know as a friend, I have never done to them. But, lets face it, one of two things creeps up on them now: Karma or: A GUILTY CONSCIENCE.
The point is, that despite it sounding cliché, treat people as how you want to be treated. Your never too big to say simply, "I am sorry" or "I am sorry, how can we make this right?". Your never too old. Your never above your mistakes, they will catch up to you if you don't deal with them in an adult manner. I know this from experience. I have always looked for answers from the same individuals that have hurt me. But, I am going to see what their Karma does to them. I am seeing it now. I am happy and at peace with myself.
It is because I have in fact, thankfully, no GUILTY CONSCIENCE.