Forced. The image that I chose above is the perfect image to best describe today's piece. Forced is what a lot of people that I know or even use to know have done in order to get married. It was forced for many reasons: "Security" over "Love", Running from their mistakes and not handling them like an adult, Running from Family or Ex-boyfriends or Ex-girlfriends whom they have hurt, Rushed into dating then jumped right into marriage after a very small amount of time, barely if at all even knowing the person. I mean, there is many more reasons. But you get the point.
Love should never be forced. It's something that comes organic. If it's not organic then it's not real. Its forced. But, a lot of dim wits that I know or use to know, seem to not understand this concept for the reasons that I mentioned above and the examples I will share with you here. I am thankful, I have something with my lady that is not forced in any sense of the word. It's real. What gets me is that people have actually tried to compare their forced relationships with our organic love. It's pathetic really. There is no comparison to us and what we share. If your in an organic relationship, you will totally understand what I mean here.
Now, I mentioned that there was some examples:
Okay, well take someone that I use to know for instance, this girl was dating someone that treated her like a queen, she treated him like he was a sixth rate non-priority in her life. He tried to get the focus on him for once and tested this girl to see if she would be supportive of him for a change. She was not, because now, it's no longer about her. He went through a very dark period in his life. She bolted instead of being a real woman and standing by her man as a real woman should. She bounced. Not long after that, she "met" someone from a good friend of hers then rushed into the dating with this "new" guy.
The forced couple dated for two years or less and have been married for four years. Now, the broken hearted man whom she left to go to her would be husband, came back from the heart break and fell in love with a real woman. That love is totally organic. Now, the organically in love, happy couple is on their way to marriage after a very long time of organic bliss together. The forced girl is unhappy in her marriage. They have a child together. The forced husband is got a wondering eye as well as the forced wife. The husband is finding out what the broken hearted guy already knew.
The forced husband is finding out now as we speak, that this girl whom he married, is not who she says she is. He is looking for any way out of the marriage so he can meet someone that is best suited for him that will treat him as an equal. This is what we call Forced.
Now, all but two people are organically in love and are on their way to a real marriage filled with real love and real joy. What about the forced married couple with child? They are both unhappy and realizing they shouldn't have forced anything. They are both looking for a way out, but now it's too deep to turn back. Now, that girl is going to be credited with breaking the heart of not only a second man but now the heart of her little child. It's sad and it's the first example of love being FORCED.
A girl who kept tabs on a guy that she had a crush on finally got in touch with the guy. They met and seemingly fell in love. They married and had a child once she left her country. The same place of origin as her husband, to move to what seemed to be greener pastures in a more opportunity-filled country. The end result? He is very unsupportive of her creative and artistic side. She is a born entertainer, model, make up artist, designer and more. She has become disenchanted with the marriage.
Also, she is hating the idea that she will never be happy again or anything more than a stay-at-home trapped mother & wife with an emotionally, unsupportive, non-physically-loving husband.
Her confidence is gone as he is never paying attention to her beauty, her body, her mind, her soul. Most of all, not paying attention to her kind heart. She is emotionally broken.
Talking to her, she is afraid to say the wrong thing to anyone for fear that her "security" is taken from her. But, she is trapped. She has found out that what options she has to break out on her own as a single independent mother in a country where she knows no one, is a lot harder than she thinks. All because her confidence in self is gone.
She is trying in vain to make her marriage work. It's unfortunately, not working. Her admirers wish that she finds the courage and strength to leave him and his family who are just as or more abusive to her as he is to her. It's a Forced marriage. FORCED is what this poor girl is finding out this "marriage" has become.
A mid 30's house wife dated her would be husband for three years. They have been married for the past 11 years. She has been expressing her unhappiness for some time now. They have one child with her expecting soon, child number two. Her unhappiness is not with having child two, which is a blessing to have a child of course, but it's in which the manner it was done. Her husband doesn't pay attention to her.
He sexes her with no passion or genuine love involved with the sex. He does so to make her believe that she is the one and only woman in his life. He does so because he suspects that she may want out. He is never home. She thinks he is always "working". She has turned a blind eye to the real truth. Having the second child forces her to stay trapped with him and his emotionally abusive parents. The same parents that have even left their first child alone when the child should have been looked after. The child is only 5 years old. Her husband says nothing. She tries to fight but realizes her husband cares for her less and less everyday.
She tries to laugh it all off but to no avail. She tries to cover her pain. But, she is reaching her breaking point. She is having his baby for a second time. But, she is finding out that the security from where she previously came from, is not worth the non-existent love they both share with one another. She is finding out that this is FORCED.
These are just some of the examples of people that I know that are finding out that love should never be forced. Organic is the only way. No matter what, love is also unconditional. No matter of race, color, creed or religion. Unconditional Love. And nothing but.
If you relate to these stories and are too, in an a forced relationship then please feel free to seek other options that gets you into a more positive light. Men and Women go through forced relationships for the reasons that I have listed above. But, you must understand that organic love is best. There will be ups and downs but it comes with the territory. If you have to force love, then your going to wind up like some of the women and even men that I have mentioned here today.
Ladies and Gentlemen, please take your time and find the right one for you. Never take security over love. It never works out. Just because you forced something that is now into years of being "together" doesn't mean that you are happy or can't start fresh. Finding someone that is organic is best. There you will find the courage and strength to have a strong protected heart. Find someone that is the same.
Two strong hearts are better than a FORCED one.