~~~ Quote of The Day #2 ~~~

~~~~~ * "Navarro's Poison & Passion" ~ "Poison" ~ "FORCED" * ~~~~~

 

 

Forced. The image that I chose above is the perfect image to best describe today's piece. Forced is what a lot of people that I know or even use to know have done in order to get married. It was forced for many reasons: "Security" over "Love", Running from their mistakes and not handling them like an adult, Running from Family or Ex-boyfriends or Ex-girlfriends whom they have hurt, Rushed into dating then jumped right into marriage after a very small amount of time, barely if at all even knowing the person. I mean, there is many more reasons. But you get the point.

 

Love should never be forced. It's something that comes organic. If it's not organic then it's not real. Its forced. But, a lot of dim wits that I know or use to know, seem to not understand this concept for the reasons that I mentioned above and the examples I will share with you here. I am thankful, I have something with my lady that is not forced in any sense of the word. It's real. What gets me is that people have actually tried to compare their forced relationships with our organic love. It's pathetic really. There is no comparison to us and what we share. If your in an organic relationship, you will totally understand what I mean here.

 

Now, I mentioned that there was some examples:

Example 1.

Okay, well take someone that I use to know for instance, this girl was dating someone that treated her like a queen, she treated him like he was a sixth rate non-priority in her life. He tried to get the focus on him for once and tested this girl to see if she would be supportive of him for a change. She was not, because now, it's no longer about her. He went through a very dark period in his life. She bolted instead of being a real woman and standing by her man as a real woman should. She bounced. Not long after that, she "met" someone from a good friend of hers then rushed into the dating with this "new" guy.

 

The forced couple dated for two years or less and have been married for four years. Now, the broken hearted man whom she left to go to her would be husband, came back from the heart break and fell in love with a real woman. That love is totally organic. Now, the organically in love, happy couple is on their way to marriage after a very long time of organic bliss together. The forced girl is unhappy in her marriage. They have a child together. The forced husband is got a wondering eye as well as the forced wife. The husband is finding out what the broken hearted guy already knew.

 

The forced husband is finding out now as we speak, that this girl whom he married, is not who she says she is. He is looking for any way out of the marriage so he can meet someone that is best suited for him that will treat him as an equal. This is what we call Forced.

 

Now, all but two people are organically in love and are on their way to a real marriage filled with real love and real joy. What about the forced married couple with child? They are both unhappy and realizing they shouldn't have forced anything. They are both looking for a way out, but now it's too deep to turn back. Now, that girl is going to be credited with breaking the heart of not only a second man but now the heart of her little child. It's sad and it's the first example of love being FORCED.

 

Example 2.

A girl who kept tabs on a guy that she had a crush on finally got in touch with the guy. They met and seemingly fell in love. They married and had a child once she left her country. The same place of origin as her husband, to move to what seemed to be greener pastures in a more opportunity-filled country. The end result? He is very unsupportive of her creative and artistic side. She is a born entertainer, model, make up artist, designer and more. She has become disenchanted with the marriage.

 

Also, she is hating the idea that she will never be happy again or anything more than a stay-at-home trapped mother & wife with an emotionally, unsupportive, non-physically-loving husband.

 

Her confidence is gone as he is never paying attention to her beauty, her body, her mind, her soul. Most of all, not paying attention to her kind heart. She is emotionally broken.

 

Talking to her, she is afraid to say the wrong thing to anyone for fear that her "security" is taken from her. But, she is trapped. She has found out that what options she has to break out on her own as a single independent mother in a country where she knows no one, is a lot harder than she thinks. All because her confidence in self is gone.

 

She is trying in vain to make her marriage work. It's unfortunately, not working. Her admirers wish that she finds the courage and strength to leave him and his family who are just as or more abusive to her as he is to her. It's a Forced marriage. FORCED is what this poor girl is finding out this "marriage" has become.

 

Example 3.

A mid 30's house wife dated her would be husband for three years. They have been married for the past 11 years. She has been expressing her unhappiness for some time now. They have one child with her expecting soon, child number two. Her unhappiness is not with having child two, which is a blessing to have a child of course, but it's in which the manner it was done. Her husband doesn't pay attention to her.

 

He sexes her with no passion or genuine love involved with the sex. He does so to make her believe that she is the one and only woman in his life. He does so because he suspects that she may want out. He is never home. She thinks he is always "working". She has turned a blind eye to the real truth. Having the second child forces her to stay trapped with him and his emotionally abusive parents. The same parents that have even left their first child alone when the child should have been looked after. The child is only 5 years old. Her husband says nothing. She tries to fight but realizes her husband cares for her less and less everyday.

 

She tries to laugh it all off but to no avail. She tries to cover her pain. But, she is reaching her breaking point. She is having his baby for a second time. But, she is finding out that the security from where she previously came from, is not worth the non-existent love they both share with one another. She is finding out that this is FORCED.

 

These are just some of the examples of people that I know that are finding out that love should never be forced. Organic is the only way. No matter what, love is also unconditional. No matter of race, color, creed or religion. Unconditional Love. And nothing but.

 

If you relate to these stories and are too, in an a forced relationship then please feel free to seek other options that gets you into a more positive light. Men and Women go through forced relationships for the reasons that I have listed above. But, you must understand that organic love is best. There will be ups and downs but it comes with the territory. If you have to force love, then your going to wind up like some of the women and even men that I have mentioned here today.

 

Ladies and Gentlemen, please take your time and find the right one for you. Never take security over love. It never works out. Just because you forced something that is now into years of being "together" doesn't mean that you are happy or can't start fresh. Finding someone that is organic is best. There you will find the courage and strength to have a strong protected heart. Find someone that is the same.

 

Two strong hearts are better than a FORCED one.

 

 





~~ * "Navarro's Poison & Passion" ~ "Poison" ~ "FAKE FRIENDS VS. REAL FRIENDS" * ~~

 

 

Fake Friends VS. Real Friends. All too many times throughout my life, I would say that I have the unfortunate displeasure of having fake friends. Thankfully, however, I have had more real friends that I can count. But, they too showed their true colors and are now considered fake friends.

 

Sometimes, you have to take a very long time in order to find out whom are your real friends and who are the fake friends. For example, I have grown up with a group of friends that are somewhat spilt down the middle as this: The friend that only wants to talk to you if they can talk only about themselves and it's all about them. Then the other group is: the friends that you can lean on a bit for help and cares to be apart of your life.

 

I have a lot of fake friends that are now kept very far away from me. I know for a fact that they don't know anything really about me. The sad part is that they never wanted to know or wanted to ask. They are unsupportive and the same people that I grew up with. They want your support but not willing to return the same gesture. Or you support them because your a good person and they just never give the same in return. Fake Friends? Absolutely!

 

Real Friends. I have a handful. Its the people that if I ever was in trouble or needed help with something, they are there without question. But, that handful is really small to be honest. Less than a handful to be more accurate. I have always prided myself on being a real friend. I always believed that if your around too much then you are taken for granted. But, always be there when it matters the most.

 

My point is that you have to pick and choose your friends carefully. You have to be good at noticing the tendencies of the people that you associate with. If you can live with those traits and still be close friends with someone where no one is getting hurt then you are good. If you have a Fake friend that is destructive with you or without you, that is the person that you must create distance. Either cut out of your life for good or have a very, very safe level of distance. They will bring you down with them if your too close.

 

From the experiences I have had with Friends, I have become more selective who I get close with. As a man, I have realized a long time ago, that I do not need to have a gang of friends around me in order to be a real friend or to stand on my own two feet as a man. I hope that you realize this too for all you fellow men and yes, women.

 

Respect is a huge thing for me as well. If you have respect for someone then that will most likely be mutual and off you go to see if the friendship lasts later on. Having friends is an investment. You have to simply ask yourself: "Do I want to invest in this person or not?", "Why or why not?" you make those decisions then as I said, you go from there.

 

Keep in mind, you want a REAL FRIEND. No FAKE FRIENDS allowed!





~~~~~ * "Navarro's Poison & Passion" ~ "Poison" ~ "GUILTY CONSCIENCE" * ~~~~~

 

 

Guilty Conscience. It's rare that people pay attention to their conscience. Especially, when it comes down to simply thinking about what they have done wrong to someone. This could be a girlfriend or boyfriend cheating on their significant other, a girlfriend or boyfriend abandoning their significant other when they need you the most, or being physically, mentally, emotionally abusive towards their loved one. This of course goes the same way for married couples, common-in-law couples and not to mention with family, friends & co-workers.

 

The self admittance of feeling guilty towards the wrong doing of another person is rarely ever fixed between those individuals. That's where Karma comes into play. That is another story for another time. From experience, the wrong doer is guilty and reacts in any other way but to simply say "I am sorry, I fucked up, please forgive me".

 

Peoples egos play a factor in not allowing themselves to do the easy thing by simply apologizing and making things right. I personally, have experienced this from the end of both girlfriend relationships, friends and from family. It's not pretty folks. To this day, a lot of unresolved issues that I have with people have been left up in the air with me waiting for these pieces to come down to even pick up so that I can finally move forward. Saying "Sorry" is death to people's egos because it humanizes them, humbles them and they feel it puts a blemish on their conscience. "Oh god, now I have a negative on my so perfect (false) existence as a human being!".

 

No one ever wants to be wrong. No one ever wants to say sorry. I have experienced family my entire existence acting as if their shit doesn't stink. Fucked up behaviour and ignorance is bliss to them. Calling someone out on their mistakes is considered taboo. Your pushed further away instead of it being their wake up call. This is painful for someone like me. I have been hurt more times than I care to think about as it brings those negative feelings I have towards family. I have always tried to be the bigger man. Putting things aside and trying to talk to those individuals or let them hear a voice that they never wanted to listen to. In my "family" there is no accountability for all the wrong doing towards me. None at all. I have been hurt deeply my entire life by "family". It still goes on today. But, there is something lurking in those minds and lack of hearts from my "family": A GUILTY CONSCIENCE.

 

I have been in relationships with girlfriends, one in particular before I found my true love that felt that everything was more important than I. Herself, her family, friends, religion and even distant friends. I remained supportive. I remained faithful. I remained loyal. I remained a trust worthy boyfriend. But, eventually, I realized that I was being treated like sixth rate trash.

 

I tried to move into a positive light where I was thinking about starting my own business and even dealing with deep personal issues that god forbid meant that the spotlight of our "relationship" was to be forced on me, thus taking away the attention off of her and her more important than I priorities. It was met with drama, stress, emotional abuse, abandonment and heartbreak for me.

 

I fought my way through it, but realized that years now after the fact, that no matter what, Karma will get that person if it hasn't already happened. But, Karma gets you when you ignore your conscience. It gets you when you deny that you are not guilty of hurting someone. It gets you. It does. One thing that ex-girlfriend will understand, is that you can't run from your mistakes forever. It will catch up to you. Your reactions to your wrong doing towards me is called: A GUILTY CONSCIENCE.

 

Friends. I have had one in particular that once told me that he repented for the wrong doing he caused me. Then less than a year or so later, it started again and now that jerk off doesn't play a part in my life anymore period. I have had similar friends that have done wrong to me. Disrespectful comments, ignorant statements, turn their backs on me when I needed help. All things, that I know as a friend, I have never done to them. But, lets face it, one of two things creeps up on them now: Karma or: A GUILTY CONSCIENCE.

 

The point is, that despite it sounding cliché, treat people as how you want to be treated. Your never too big to say simply, "I am sorry" or "I am sorry, how can we make this right?". Your never too old. Your never above your mistakes, they will catch up to you if you don't deal with them in an adult manner. I know this from experience. I have always looked for answers from the same individuals that have hurt me. But, I am going to see what their Karma does to them. I am seeing it now. I am happy and at peace with myself.

 

It is because I have in fact, thankfully, no GUILTY CONSCIENCE.